There’s no magic formula to help you instantly recover from a break-up and get your life back on track. Nonetheless, here are 5 time-tested ways you can deal with a break up however painful it may seem at first.
Break-ups are usually emotionally devastating experiences for most people. This is primarily because of two reasons – loneliness and fear of change. Adjusting to single life is often a very trying experience especially if you’ve been dating for a while. Sometimes, what hurts more than longing for the person you love is going back to being alone all over again.
Obviously, there’s no magic formula to help you instantly recover from a break-up and get your life back on track. Nonetheless, here are 5 time-tested ways you can deal with a break up however painful it may seem at first.
1. Allow yourself to grieve
Don’t allow anyone to trivialize what you’re going through even if your friends call you immature and overemotional. Meaningless platitudes like “It happens to everyone” won’t make the pain any less real. Grieving is a natural reaction to a failed relationship even if you know your break-up was for the best. Psychiatrists agree that this is a far more effective way of dealing with break-ups than simply not thinking about it altogether.
2. Don’t Reminisce about the Past
Sure, you might have shared some really touching moments together, but the fact is, these tender memories have very little to do with why your relationship ended. Often, this fear of change manifests itself at a subconscious level causing people to see the past better than it actually was. Whenever your mind starts to wander, remind yourself why you broke up in the first place.
3. Stop Thinking about your Ex
This is probably the most challenging step of all. After a break-up, it’s natural for many people to find themselves thinking about what their ex is upto. Some people go a step ahead and stalk their exes online. Though it is easier said than done, you really need to stop thinking about your ex. This sort of behavior is highly counterproductive if you really want to let go of the past and move on.
4. No Contact
Contrary to what romantic comedies have taught us, deciding to stay friends after a break-up is never a good idea. In a moment of weakness, you might have somehow convinced yourself that this is possible, but rest assured that this will only take you back to square one. You know you’re over the break-up when seeing your partner with someone else makes you feel happy for him/her as opposed to evoking feelings of jealousy. Obviously, that’s going to take a really long time.
5. Hang out with yourself
Your friends are probably going to be spending a lot of time at your place after you’ve broken up. Though this is not necessarily a bad thing, sooner or later you’re bound to realize that the only reason they’re spending so much time with is because of your break-up which will only remind you of the same. Instead, try to enjoy the pleasure of solitude by rediscovering your interests and hobbies. More importantly, it’ll help you learn how not feel lonely even when you’re alone after your friends stop being so supportive.