Debra Messing’s amicable divorce was still a painful experience

Debra Messing and Daniel Zelman wanted their marriage to last forever. But after ten years she filed for divorce. Not for lack of love, but for lack of time together.

A relationship that lasted twenty years is not easily ended. Debra Messing met her now estranged husband Daniel Zelman in the early 1990’s when they were both students at New York University. They married in September 2000 and had their son in 2004.

Daniel Zelman-Debra Messing pose for a photoshoot

Both successful in their respective careers with Debra working mostly in New York and Daniel in Los Angeles, they found themselves living and working apart more than together. In 2011, after three years of working on different coasts, the couple decided that it was better for everyone involved to end the marriage.

By the time their split was announced, the couple had already been separated for a few months, but they still shared a home at that time in order to make the transition easier, especially for their son.Whilst they parted ways as a married couple, they remained close as friends and parents to their son, who was their main reason for trying to make their family work as best as possible. And Debra said that she will consider the three of them forever a nuclear family, even when she won’t be married to Daniel any longer.

Debra  Messing & Daniel Zelman at the Entertainment Weekly 6th Annual Pre Emmy Celebration

She also doesn’t consider their relationship of twenty years a failure. For the most part she believes it to be a huge success, and nobody but her and her ex-husband could be the judge of that. She is painfully aware that a happily ever after is not easily achieved any more these days and any couple staying together as long as she and Daniel did, can consider it quite the achievement.

In June 2012 Debra filed for divorce and she conceded later that it was painful regardless of how amicable the split from Daniel was. She had hoped to give her son the same fantasy that her parents had given her, but now she has to live with the guilt of not being able to manage that.

Yet this appears to be a divorce where no one really was at fault. There can be no doubt that Debra Messing and Daniel Zelman have given it their best. They lasted twenty years. They clearly still care for each other and they are devoted to make the best of a sad situation for the sake of their son. What more can be asked of two human beings?

By keeping the divorce civil and remaining on good terms with her ex, she has ensured the best possible outcome for her son, who should look up to his parents for handling the situation as well as they have.

It’s not known, if Daniel and Debra are actually officially divorced yet. There has been no news on the subject since Debra filed for divorce. It may have been done quietly without the gossip magazines paying particular attention. An amicable divorce is, after all, not as interesting to cover as a messy one.

Debra eventually ended up dating her Smash co-star Will Chase. They seemed a picture perfect couple, always smiling happily for the cameras. Sadly, after two and a half years of being in a relationship the two went separate ways in October 2014.

So, once more Debra finds herself a single. But she still has a family, albeita modern one, which seems increasingly the norm these days.


Debra Messing with her new found love Will Chase

Will Chase & Debra Messing at a Red Carpet event

Debra Messing & Will Chase wave their fans

Debra Messing & Will Chase look graceful

Debra Messing & Daniel Zelman say cheese

Debra Messing & Daniel Zelman look great

Debra Messing & Daniel Zelman hugging